Let me be, what's underneath
by AislinKate
Summary: My interpretation as to why we haven't seen Santana or Rachel performing 'Born this way' in any of the promos.  Contains Santana's struggle with her sexuality, as well as mentions of Brittana and a Pezberry friendship.


**This is my interpretation of why we haven't seen Rachel or Santana performing 'Born this way' in any of the promos.**

**It is set as the others are performing it in the auditorium.**

**It mentions Santana's struggle with her sexuality, as well as mentions of Brittana, and a Pezberry friendship.**

**Please enjoy :)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own glee or any of the characters**

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><p>"Look, maybe Rachel's fine with having an enormous beak. Maybe she needs it to crack hard seeds. All I'm saying is that if you look in the mirror and you don't like what you see, you should change it."<p>

"Whoa, guys" says Mr Schuester, a little late to interrupt Santana's tirade. "What happened to loving ourselves no matter what we look like?"

"Mr Schue" said Rachel who was covering her swollen nose with her hands, "if I may. We all feel insecure at times. Even if we are really good at not letting it show. Even Santana who had to get a boob job to make herself feel beautiful", Rachel adds with a pointed scowl in her direction.

"Hold up there Pinocchio", says Santana who now has her hand in the air. "I'm not insecure. You haters might all like to think I am, but I got this boob job to heighten my already fabulous appearance. I'm not insecure, just practical."

Santana shifts in her seat, readjusting her hat and holding her head up, because really, she did not just get called out by Rachel Berry. She puts on her best bitch glare and crosses her arms across her chest, hoping that just maybe, no one would see, that on the inside, she was anything but secure.

But just as Rachel returns to her seat she says, "Think whatever you like Santana", and before Mr Schuester can resume the lesson she adds with finality "but we all know that you're not as tough as you think".

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><p>Santana Lopez was hiding. Maybe if they thought she had gone home they would continue on with the number without her she thought, as she fiddled with the zipper on her black jacket. Truth be told, she was scared. She wasn't ready to take off her jacket and show everyone what she was most insecure about, the part of her that she so desperately wished she could change. But she would never love anyone as much as the blonde currently in the auditorium with the rest of the glee club, that were probably wondering where she was.<p>

She was fidgeting with her nails when she heard the door creak open, and watched a small brunette walk in, swaying her hips from side to side. Her steps were so springy and light, and Santana thought back to her earlier comment about her nose, and realised that her teasing Rachel, was just a way to mask her own insecurities.

Rachel hadn't even noticed Santana in the choir room up until now, and she could see her out the corner of her eye, staring at her. She whirled around, smoothing down her skirt, as Santana still stared.

"I thought you couldn't make eye contact with me" Rachel said sarcastically, as she positioned her hands on her hips.

Santana quickly averted her eyes, and rolled them, but to Rachel, the gesture didn't have the desired effect that was intended. Santana was off somehow, Rachel could feel it, and if her terribly failed gesture was something to go by, Rachel knew the girl was in some serious predicament.

"Why are you sitting in here?" Rachel asked. "Shouldn't you be in the auditorium for the performance?" she said as she gestured exaggeratedly toward the door.

Santana didn't respond, but merely crossed her arms across her chest, letting out a short burst of air. She was not going to talk to Berry about this, she would be damned if Rachel could do anything to help her.

"Is everything okay Santana?" Rachel asked inquisitively, as she stepped closer to the girl. She saw the Latina fidget under her gaze as if she felt extraordinarily uncomfortable with the situation.

"Just go away" Santana finally pleaded, "Please". Her voice betrayed her as it wavered, showing that she had a hint of sadness behind her words, and noticing her mistake, Santana quickly tried to turn back on her bitch façade hoping that Rachel hadn't caught her falter.

"All this coming from the girl that has no problems with herself", said Rachel evenly, starting to get annoyed by her teammates icy nature.

"Yeah well fine, Santana Lopez has insecurities" snapped Santana to Rachel, "so if that's what you wanted to hear you can just leave. You wouldn't want to pass up a performance opportunity anyway".

Rachel's angry attitude faded as quickly as it had come, as she watched Santana try to be strong under her gaze. She gave her credit, because she was holding her ground, but the hesitance and hurt Rachel saw in Santana's eyes was hard to miss. She moved closer to Santana praying that she wouldn't have a broken jaw as well as her broken nose, and tested the waters as she made her move to the seat beside the girl.

"Santana" Rachel said softly as she sat next to the vulnerable girl. "Why would you, of all people, want to change something about yourself?"

"You know you're the most beautiful girl at this school", she said as she tentatively put her hand on the Latina's shoulder. When her hand was not shrugged off Rachel saw it as a sign to continue.

"Why would you ever want to change a thing?"

Santana looked up at the ceiling with eyes that were now glistening with tears. She pressed her palms hard into her eyes to will the tears away, but it was as if the barrier could not prevent the flood that was about to come. She took her hands off her eyes, and started with a shaky voice.

"What if the thing you wanted to change the most, was something on the inside, something you could never change, no matter how hard you tried?"

Rachel observed a lone tear roll its way down Santana's cheek, smudging the eyeliner Rachel noted, as the Latina dejectedly wiped it away. She was lost for words. What could it possibly be that the Latina wanted to change so badly? She always had the boys chasing after her, and her beauty was astounding. She had everything Rachel had always wanted, but what about her inside did she want to change? To Rachel it didn't make any sense until she was met with the figure in front of her.

Santana stood and then turned to face Rachel. It was now or never she thought, and she really needed a friend, though she would never ask for it. With shaking hands and a deep breath, she began to undo the zipper of her jacket and slowly but surely, she revealed the word, in **big**, **black**, **bold** letters, on the shirt that had been printed for her.

Rachel observed Santana's shirt with utter shock. Only four letters were printed there, but it was enough to warrant Santana breaking down into tears at Rachel's stunned face.

"**DYKE**"

Rachel caught Santana as she fell and guided her to her lap. The two girls sat on the floor, in a shaken embrace, as Rachel tried to calm the Latina's fears.

"I'm just so scared Rachel" sobbed Santana into her shoulder. "You know what happened to Kurt here"

"Hey, I know" said Rachel while cradling her in her arms. "I'm here, I'm here" she repeated while smoothing the Latina's long flowing locks. But when Rachel uttered the words "It's going to be okay", Santana went rigid and anger flowed through her.

"No it isn't!" said Santana as she pulled from Rachel's grasp. "How is me being a lesbian ever going to be okay? I'm going to get bullied every day when people find out", she yelled with wild gestures to accompany it all.

"I'm a freaking Lesbian, and I can't change it! I hate all the looks I'll get, and the comments that are going to be made" she said as she furiously wiped at the tears that were cascading down her soft skin, making black rivers that contrasted against her delicate facial features.

"But what I'm most scared of is what everybody will think of me, what everyone will say behind my back". Santana's voice had now lowered to a whisper in her anguish, and she moved to sit on the piano stool. "I can't help that I'm in love with her".

It was then that Rachel understood. The pinky linking, the longing stares and the jealous looks at Artie. It was all because she wanted to be with her.

She loved Brittany.

Rachel stood slowly then, as to not make Santana run away, and she quietly sat next to her. Santana leaned into Rachel, putting her head on her shoulder. Understanding that Rachel was not going to hurt her and just wanted to help, she felt tears roll down her cheeks as she asked "please just tell me what to do".

Rachel wrapped her arms around Santana and heard her sniffle, before she did the only thing she could think to do. She cleared her throat and leaned into Santana before beginning to sing.

"My Mama told me when I was young, we are all born superstars"

"What are you doing Rachel" began Santana only to feel fingers on her lips effectively quieting her.

"She rolled my hair and put my lipstick on, in the glass of her boudoir. There's nothing wrong with loving who you are, she said, 'cause he made you perfect, babe", Rachel sang as she stroked her hand across Santana's cheek catching a few crystal tears in the process.

"So hold your head up girl and you'll go far" she sang as she brought Santana's head up so she could look at her.  
>"Listen to me when I say"<p>

"I'm beautiful in my way, 'cause God makes no mistakes, I'm on the right track baby, I was born this way"

Rachel looked into Santana's eyes as she sang the next words.  
>"Don't hide yourself in regret, just love yourself and you're set, I'm on the right track baby, I was born this way"<p>

Rachel desperately wanted to convey to Santana how completely okay it was to be herself, even if some people were not supportive. She wanted Santana to know that she and the glee club would be there for her no matter what, and so she poured her soul into the song, as she meant every word.

"OOO there ain't no other way  
>Baby I was born this way<br>Baby I was born this way  
>OOO there ain't no other way<br>Baby I was born-  
>I'm on the right track baby<br>I was born this way"

"Don't be a drag –Just be a queen  
>Don't be a drag –Just be a queen<br>Don't be a drag –Just be a queen  
>Don't be!", sang Rachel with a smile on her face, which, with the emphasis she placed in the last two words, gained a small smile from the Latina.<p>

Rachel passed through the next verse as she held her arms around Santana, who was finding comfort in the embrace, when suddenly she heard a soft voice join in. She was barely singing, but Rachel revelled in the fact that maybe Santana was getting the message. The point in the verse where Santana joined in was wholly appropriate, and their voices melded together as they sang.

"A different lover is not a sin, believe capital H-I-M"

"Hey Hey Hey" sang Santana as she smiled again.

"I love my life, I love this record and, mi amore vole fe yah"

They sang the chorus together, as Santana timidly raised her voice slightly. But as they approached the next verse and Santana knew the lyrics that were coming, she stopped singing again, looking at Rachel with pleading eyes. But Rachel didn't stop singing and continued on into the next verse.

"Don't be a drag, just be a queen, whether you're broke or evergreen, you're black, white, beige, chola descent, you're Lebanese, you're orient"

"Whether life's disabilities, left you outcast, bullied or teased, rejoice and love yourself today, 'cause baby you were born this way".

It was here that Rachel paused and looked at Santana, as she shrunk into herself. Rachel spoke calmly to Santana as she watched her wrap her knees into her chest.

"Santana, these next lyrics are yours"

"I can't" sobbed the Latina as she balled the material of her shirt into her fists and shook her head, causing her hair to fall in front of her face. Her chest felt like it was going to explode. She couldn't do this. If she sang those words she would be admitting it out loud, finally, that she was who she was. She was scared, and hurt and needed someone to help her. She wasn't strong enough to handle this. But suddenly she felt hands on hers, as they gently pulled the material from her fists and replaced her hands within their own.

She looked up at Rachel whose eyes were also glistening. "Santana" she spoke softly, her voice wavering with emotion.

"You can do this. You might not be strong enough to admit it to the others yet, but it is just you and me. You can do this." She said as she turned their bodies so they were both facing each other and straddling the piano stool, hands clasped in front of their bodies.

"I am right here"

Rachel could feel Santana shaking, but she watched her brush her hair behind her ears and take a deep breath calming her nerves, before placing her hands back within her own. And then she began, pouring her heart out through the words of the song.

"No matter gay, straight or Bi, Lesbian, transgendered life, I'm on the right track baby, I was born to survive".

Santana looked at Rachel, and up into a sincere gaze. With a slight nod of her head, she edged Santana on, clasping their hands even tighter together.

"No matter black, white or beige, chola or orient made, I'm on the right track baby, I was born to be brave", Santana sang with a smile as Rachel finally joined back into the song.

"I'm beautiful in my way, 'cause God makes no mistakes, I'm on the right track baby, I was born this way".

Rachel got up and pulled Santana to her feet as they danced around the choir room together. Santana had a newly found confidence, and she smiled and laughed as they finished the rest of the song together.

"I was born this way hey!  
>I was born this way hey!<br>I'm on the right track baby  
>I was born this way hey!"<p>

And with that, they collapsed onto the ground in a fit of giggles at their childish behaviour. Rachel rested her back against the leg of the piano, and Santana sat in the middle of her legs, leaning back into Rachel's shirt.

Santana righted her headband and brushed her hands along her jeans. Maybe it was unconventional, but Rachel Berry had actually made her feel as if she was not alone, for the first time in a long time. She felt Rachel's cool hands along her arms stroking them up and down, and letting her know that she would be there for her when it all came out. And that meant everything to Santana, absolutely everything. She knew that if she came out to her friends, that none of them would judge her, and that no matter what anyone else thought, she was okay with who she was.

Because she couldn't help who she was. She loved Brittany, and that was okay.

Cause she was born this way.

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><p><strong>Thank you for reading!<strong>

**As an author that is new to this, all reviews are appreciated :)**


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